11 Years Ago Today

I have been thinking quite a bit today about what happened 11 years ago. It's hard to believe it has been that long. Here is a little back story--Thanksgiving day 1999. Brandon and I spent the day with our big sister, Juliann, and some of her in laws. On the way home, with us sitting together in the back seat, he looked at me strangely. After asking him what he was looking at, he told me that he didn't want to tell me because it would just scare me. I continued to ask and he said, "that dot in your eye, it means something is going to go medically wrong with you." Of course I asked what he meant, and this is how he responded, "you know, something permanent...like when you are blind you are blind or when you go deaf you are deaf." I thought that was strange, but we sort of just let it go.

Fast forward to the next day--black Friday 1999. I had worked two 8 hour shifts at Quality Farm & Fleet as a cashier. My friend Sara and I slept at my dorm room Thanksgiving night in Saginaw and worked our first shift at the store near campus. After that shift we drove to Mt. Pleasant and worked another shift. I remember that I didn't eat much that day--and what I did wasn't healthy--chips, Mt. Dew--junk that was put in the break rooms for us.

At the end of my shift in Mt. Pleasant I was (of course!) exhausted. I couldn't wait to get home and into my bed. It was about 10:30pm and I was making myself a pb&j when the phone rang. It was a high school friend of mine asking me to join a group of people going to see a midnight movie. Everything in me said no, in fact I told him no. And then I heard a voice--seriously, an almost audible voice that told me I needed to go. So I went. During that movie my heart stopped beating for a moment and I experienced my first seizure. I remember thinking that my arms were feeling heavy and weird right before it happened. When I became aware I was surrounded by concerned friends and paramedics. They put me on a stretcher and into an ambulance. Within minutes of arriving at the hospital my little brother Brandon (18 at the time) was by my side. I kept telling the doctors and nurses that I was just really tired--that nothing was really wrong with me. Brandon must have called my dad who was in Texas with my family who insisted that I listen to the doctors. So I did.

The doctors told me that I was going to have to be transferred to another hospital, that something was wrong with my heart, and wanted to know if I'd rather go to Saginaw or Ann Arbor. Of course I said Saginaw since it's where I went to college. We were back in an ambulance and on our way. Brandon stayed with me every minute. Once at Covenant hospital, they ran various tests on me and told me pretty quickly that I was going to have to have a pacemaker installed. I only asked that they wait until my dad could make it--they were already on their way--and they told me they couldn't wait. I remember Brandon telling me that he felt "surprisingly optimistic about everything" and what a comfort that was to me. It was quite scary-me 19, Brandon 18 and yet with him there I was okay. It's always been that way for us--brother and sister as well as best friends. So, he went with me to pre-op, said a prayer and gave me a hug.

When I got into the operating room I was nervous and the nurses could tell. What one of them said I will never forget. She looked at me with the sweetest eyes and said, "we are all moms in here and we are going to take care of you." After that I was good--thank God for sweet nurses! When I woke up after surgery there were friends with me and soon my family arrived.

Life ever since has been a blessing. I am so thankful for the life I have been given. One of the doctors told me that 1 out of 10 people survive what I did--and I was that 1. It's hard not to be thankful after hearing something like that. Remember that voice I heard? I didn't know then, but I believe now that the voice I heard was God. Even though at that point in my life I didn't know Him, but He sure knew me and I am so thankful for that!